Kill me I beg you
by mon-desir
Summary: He wanted to stuff a sock down her throat. He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to hex her into oblivion. Any goddamn thing to shut her up." A long journey awaits. A mission. An island. One Malfoy. One Granger.
1. testing

He wanted to stuff a sock down her throat. He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to hex her into oblivion. Any goddamn thing to shut her up.

"The feeling is mutual, mudblood."

"Oh honestly Malfoy, come up with a better insult than that! It has gotten old over the years."

"Oh I can think of a hundred other names to call you, Granger. Think of it as a pet name, my personal favorite. Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe I have better things to do than think about you and what to call you?"

"Like what exactly? You're too self absorbed to think of anything or anyone else but yourself"

"I beg to disagree, Granger"

"Why don't you just go on ahead and drown yourself or something. You'll be doing the whole world a favor…you foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach."

"Why don't you drown yourself? You'll be ding the wizarding world a favor and we all know that's the only world that counts."

"Well if it weren't for all us little muggleborns there wouldn't be al wizarding world left!"

"Why don't you go onto the top deck and make yourself useful by mopping the floors or something. I'm sick of this pointless bickering"

"I've had enough of this! Enough of you! It was hard enough seeing you in school in the corridors and having to deal with you then and now, five years later I'm stuck with you in some boat with no one else for company! Merlin, how am I going to bloody survive?"

"Well I've had enough of you! But it's not like we have a bloody choice, Granger."

"I'm not even going to have this discussion anymore. I'm tired and fed up!"

"What are you doing?"

"This side of the ship is mine and that is yours. You are driving me bonkers"

"Right, Granger. You are mental."


	2. man overboard!

He could hear her muttering on her side of the ruddy ship, boat whatever. Doesn't she ever stop talking? She never shut her mouth in school and, six years after graduating, he doubted that it would ever change. He thought that it would be much easier if he'd just chuck himself off this boat, ship whatever.

He didn't know how much more he could take. Sure, he saw her occasionally over the years. He worked in the ministry while Granger, surprise surprise, worked as a teacher in Hogwarts. Of course, know-it-all Granger could teach any subjected she wanted. Unfortunately or fortunately for him the only slot open was teaching DADA. So it came to be that Granger was now the DADA teacher of Howarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Not the best teacher but competent.

Draco had no intentions to mingle with the mudblood or tolerate her meaningless existence ever again. Well, Aside from formal gatherings, of course. There was no need to chat, socialize, or blend. He wanted to keep it that way. Oh, but of course nothing ever works the way he wanted them to. No. Not for Draco Malfoy. It did not seem so.

Now he was stuck in a ship, boat whatever with non other than Hermione Granger, His favorite person in the whole goddamn bloody world. He had no one else to talk to, No one else to perform malicious deeds on, No one and absolutely no one to blame the sudden death of Hermione Granger. He could always say that she fell of a ship. That he tried to save her. That he battled the waves valiantly but failed miserably. That he still blames himself for her death. Then he'll be known as the-boy-who-saved-the-best-pal-of-the-boy-who-lived. Wonderful. That would be the perfect plan if he did not have a mission to fulfill.

Hermione could see him from the side of her eye. She could see that stupid smirk on his face. She did not want to be here. She had students to teach. She had a responsibility to her students. What the bloody hell did she her herself into? A whole ship and nobody on it but Malfoy…and her, how would she survive?

"Hey, Granger! Why don't you go and jump in the water and I'll go and save you in about ten minutes after you've been in there. Just for fun. Out of lack of anything to do."

"Why don't you jump into the water and I'll save you Malfoy. You are more in need of saving then me."

She wanted to push him off the ruddy ship and let him be eaten by all the freaking fishes in the sea. She wanted tie him onto the anchor then let him sink with it then eventually drown. She wanted to cut him up into small pieces so she could use him as bait. She couldn't do that. No. Of course she couldn't. She was a civilized, educated, patie---

"Hey Granger, What if you just take off all your clothes and lie down on the top deck with bird food sprinkled over your body then let's see what'll happen! You don't have anything better to do anyway!"

"That is it Malfoy! I've had enough of you! Either you shut up or I'll make you shut up!" she said while crossing the barrier she but on the ship. She stalked right up to Draco on pointed her wand at his throat. Draco carefully stepped backward and Hermione stepped forward. Draco grabbed Hermione's wand and she struggled, pulling it back to her. Draco pulled harder only making matters worse. Finally growing tired of the childish dispute, Hermione let go of her wand, which set Draco flying off the ship. He grabbed onto Hermione's arm and brought her with him.

He felt the ice-cold water drenching his robes and struggled as they became heavy and tangled. Then suddenly he couldn't breathe. Someone was choking him! He started to panic and realized that Granger was finally going to kill him. He closed his eyes and saw his whole life flash before him.


End file.
